Sasuke, West Virginia Ranger
by Sarigo
Summary: SasuSaku, KibaIno, NaruHina, NejiTen;  Written with KillerMay.  "This town ain't big enough for the both of us..."
1. Chapter 1

**A/N**_ This is my first fanfiction to be published. It was done in collab with my friend, KillerMay. Check her out sometime, she's hilarious._

**Sasuke, West Virginia Ranger**

**Disclaimer: **_I do not own Naruto. _

"This town ain't big enough for the both of us," Shino said as he stared down his opponent. His hand was inches from his gun and it was almost time to draw, but not before his adversary got in a few words. It was common courtesy in these situations.

Besides the showdown, it was really a rather typical day in Konoha, West Virgina. The sun was in the sky, blazing down, so not many people were out. Most of them were in the saloon that was next to the action going on outside. People that did happen to be outside and pass by would almost immediately rush inside to one of the nearby buildings for protection.

Showdowns were serious business and in this particular one, neither of the participants were people that anyone with brains would mess with.

"Really?" Shino's opponent drawled out. His face was mostly hidden by his black cowboy hat that was tipped down. He was also inching near his gun, but he didn't make it as obvious. He made a large, obvious looking around motion. "It doesn't seem too crowded to me."

Shino's eyes narrowed behind his sunglasses. He pushed them up with his left hand and pulled out his gun with his right.

His opponent pulled out his own gun and tipped his hat up.

Turning off the safety, Shino replied, "Well, Mister 'Chiha, that'd be 'cause you're the one that don't belong."

The two stood with the sun high in the sky, facing off with death in their eyes. A tumbleweed rolled across the dirt road between them, and all became still. The town was now Gunslinger's territory.

The two spun around simultaneously, and began walking in opposite directions. Some stray children watched from the dusty windows of their homes.

"One..."

Sasuke Uchiha, Shino's opponent, was once the son of a very rich cotton plantation owner. His older brother, who was now a wanted man, joined a gang of bandits, and killed off his entire family, leaving only the young Uchiha boy alive.

"Two..."

Shino Aburame was the village tough guy. Always, whenever a newcomer would arrive in the town, Shino would scare them off by challenging them to a draw. If they did happen to say yes, it was nearly guaranteed that they would lose against him.

"Three!" Shino fired while the word was being said rather than after, like a gentleman. That was why he always won—if anyone confronted him about cheating he would just say they saw it wrong and no one dared to go against anything he said.

Sasuke, however, was rather experienced in the art of dueling. He had seen every trick in the book and had several wounds to prove it. He anticipated the action and he jumped out of the way right as the bullet was fired. After dodging the bullet, he fired one of his own.

Unfortunately, jumping out of the way had put him in a rather odd position and it missed. They kept firing and neither one was getting hit. Once they had each fired six they needed to reload the gun. They did it quickly because whoever was the last one finished would surely lose.

"Excuse me, fellas!" someone called out from somewhere behind Shino. They both stopped what they were doing and turned to look at the newcomer.

Whoever it was seemed incredibly mysterious. The sun was hitting him from behind, making his appear almost dark. His large hat shaded most of his face. He was riding a black horse.

"Either of you know where I can find a saloon 'round here?" he asked.

Sasuke and Shino exchanged a glance as he got closer.

The saloon was /right next to them/. It even had huge, bright red letters that hung above it reading "SALOON". It was hard to miss, really.

Sasuke pointed to it. The guy let out a a small "Ooh..." before nodding. When he was closer to them, the sun didn't reflect off of him quite so strangely and he wasn't a black blur anymore. He was wearing a bright orange shirt under a white vest. It didn't look that threatening. His hair was a bright blond and his skin was freakishly tan.

He tied his horse up outside of the saloon and nodded at the two. "Thanks," he said. When he got off the horse, a gun was very obviously strapped to his thigh in a mildly threatening way.

"Who are you?" Shino asked, narrowing his eyes. He would have to have a showdown with this guy.

The strange man took off his hat and looked Shino up and down. He then looked around the rest of the town. He wasn't used to people not knowing who he was.

"Well, most people just call me the Lone Rider."

With that introduction, he entered the saloon.

A few people sat around, playing cards. A lone bartender stood behind a counter, cleaning the glasses he used to serve his guests. He appeared to be finanically well-off, for his clothes were made of fine materials, and his posture was that of a gentleman's. The "Lone Rider" approached the bar and gave the man a glare.

The whole saloon had turned to stare at the newcomer. Tourists were rare around these parts, and most people that came didn't stay long. Some of the townsfolk wondered just how long this one would stay.

"I sure am thirsty," the blonde spoke, looking the bartender straight in the eye.

"What'll you have?" asked the bartender, focusing more on the glass than the newcomer.

The boy looked at all the different drinks, unsure of what to get. Decisions, decisions.

"I'd like a glass of apple cider."

The people at the saloon were all focusing on him now, wondering if their ears had decieved them.

The bartender shrugged and pulled out a smaller barrel from under the counter, and began pouring the drink.

"Thanks a lot, er..."

"My name is Neji. Neji Hyuga. From the looks of it," he paused, watching how strangely the blonde acted. "You ain't from around these parts, are ya?"

He was grinning widely when Sasuke and Shino, who were taking a break from their showdown, also entered the saloon to see what would happen.

"Nope, you could say I'm a drifter, I suppose. I actually come from Whirlpool over yonder. I've been to a lot o' places and I ain't been known to stay in them for long."

Neji nodded to show he had been listening. "I didn't ask for all that information, but okay. We serve e'eryone here—drifter or not."

"Well that's right kind of you, I've been t' several small towns that won't e'en look my way when I come into a saloon."

"Aa, again—didn't ask."

The Lone Rider was about to say something else when a loud excited "Whoop!" cut him off. "Well boys, ya' might as well give up now since none o' y'all act'lly know how t' play!"

He looked over to see a girl with pink hair sitting at the card table, pulling all the chips toward herself. She had obviously just one what seemed to be a lot. Probably a lot of nickels in that pile.

The guys around her grumbled and threw all of their cards in the middle. They were almost positive she had been cheating, but there was no way to actually prove it.

In actuality, she was just that good at cards.

"Ah, come on, boys! I was just kiddin', how 'bout anoth'r round?" she pushed, leaning over prettily.

"Nah, you're feminine charms ain't gonna work on us this time, Har'no!" one of the men exclaimed. "We know all o' y're dirty tricks and they ain't gon' work this time!"

She smiled as they walked away. They didn't know _all_ of her tricks.

Shino and Sasuke sauntered across the saloon over to where she was sitting down, counting her winnings, and sat down on opposite sides of her.

She glanced at both of them. "Hey boys! Wanna play some cards?" She waved her previous hand in Sasuke's face. He smirked slightly and grabbed them from her.

"Nah, not t'day," he replied.

She pouted mockingly. "Well, _you're_ no fun. I bet Shino'd want t' entertain me, wouldn't ya'?"

Shino grunted politely, however it is that one does that, and sat across from her. "What're we playing? Poker?"

The girl smiled. "Yessir, same as usual!"

Sasuke stood up from the table when he was very suddenly greeted with an inapropriate hug from behind. He turned to see who it was.

"Why, Sasuke! It's been a while, ain't it? You sure are fine, as usual!"

"Hello, Ino."

"By the by, did you happen to meet that strange kid o'er yonder? The one sittin' at the bar?"

"I did. Barely."

"What's he like?"

"Um...different."

The Lone Rider turned back towards the bar.

"Need a refill?" asked Neji.

"Naw, I'm good. That sure did hit the spot though, Mister! Here's a tip," he said, handing him some cash money.

He wasn't used to recieving tips.

"Um, thank you kindly, good sir-"

"You know, everywhere I go, people call me the Lone Rider." Interrupted the blonde.

"You don't say..." Neji replied, slightly annoyed. "Why's that?"

"'Cuz I travel alone, 'nd I ride a horse. I guess the nickname made sense."

"...interesting." he said, even though it wasn't actually interesting.

As the Lone Rider continued discussing random and trivial things with Neji—who really didn't care at all—, the saloon door swung open again.

The newest arrival let out a loud whistle as he pushed through people to get to the bar. "Sure is crowded t'day, huh Neji?"

"Sure is, Sheriff," Neji replied, nodded towards him as he continued to clean a glass. At some point, he held it up towards a window where the sunlight was streaming in so he could see if there were any stains still on it.

"Ya' must me doin' pretty well t'day then," the sheriff continued, taking off his hat and placing it on a nearby rack.

"Nah, most people 're only in here to play cards—they get one drink 'nd then get distracted by that 'nd only drink half of it."

"Y'need to start chargin' 'em for tables!" he exclaimed, laughing. The Lone Rider had been watching the scene unfold and it was only then that he noticed the_ huge dog_ that had followed behind the sheriff. And it was only _then_ that the sheriff noticed the Lone Rider.

"What's 'ur name?" he asked.

"Well, most people just call me the Lone Rider," he replied.

The sheriff began laughing again. "I didn't ask what people called ya', I asked f'r your name."

The Lone Rider blinked. He hadn't ever gotten _that_ reaction before. "Well then, I s'ppose I'm Naruto Uzumaki."

"You s'ppose?" the sheriff asked.

"...Well then, what's 'ur name!" Naruto exclaimed.

"Well, most people call me Sheriff," he replied, taking the badge pinned to his shirt between his thumb and index finger.

"I didn't ask what people called ya'," he mocked.

The sheriff began laughing again. "I like you, Uzumaki—you're alright. I'm Kiba Inuzuka, sheriff of this here town." Naruto was going to tell him that he figured that one out, but decided against it.

He had figured it out though.

He wasn't _that_ stupid.

.

.

"Oh, well, lookie there—it's the sheriff," Ino observed. She was sitting across from Sakura, who was still playing poker with Shino and Sasuke—who had asked to be dealt in after Shino decided to play.

Ino would never understand men, no matter how many she had the company of.

The three didn't seem to acknowledge her saying anything at all. She blew her bangs out of her face. She was getting pretty tired of this whole thing. They were _ignoring_ her and she didn't like to be ignored.

She looked over at the three. They all their poker faces on (which for Sasuke was just his normal face—which was incredibly pretty). It was kind of freaking her out, actually.

"Y'all are no fun," she muttered under her breath before standing up. There was no business there anyways.

The sheriff noticed her rising up.

"Howdy there, Miss Ino," he smiled, politely tipping his hat. Ino did a curtsey and approached the bar for her chance to talk to both the sheriff and the newcomer.

"How've ya been, sheriff?" she asked as she bent over to pet his dog. "I haven't spoken to you in a while."

"I ain't been here for a while, Miss. I've been travelin'. They say they've spotted some bandits a few miles out. Thing is, I didn't even spot one."

"That's a shame. Sounds like you had a pretty rough time."

"Sure was, and the things is—we got even more reports this mornin'. 'm afraid the people might start panickin' if we don't find anyone soon."

All of sudden, Ino got really serious and leaned forward closer to him, like she was going to tell him a secret. "You don't reckon it's..." she trailed off and her eyes flickered over to the table she had just left.

"His brother? Nah, I wouldn't think so—don't know why he'd be stupid enough to come back around these parts. We ain't got any leads on him either though," he said with a sigh. It wasn't all that fun being sheriff when the police force was full of morons who couldn't catch _one person_.

That is, of course, if you overlook the fact that the "one person" was a genius and mass murderer who could only be identified because he decided to leave one person alive...

"Well Sheriff, I'm sure you'll get a lead soon," she replied.

Naruto, who was still sitting at the bar next them was pretty confused. This was the town his dad had grown up in and it seemed rather fitting—these people seemed pretty fucking weird.

He had never met a bartender who didn't at least /pretend/ to care. Honestly, if you couldn't count on barmen to help you through your emotional problems, who could you trust?

He sighed and looked around. He didn't know how long he was going to stay here, but so far, he didn't think it would really be long enough to find someone that wasn't a freak.

That reminded him though... "Hey Neji, you know of a place 'round here where I could stay a couple nights?" he asked, but Neji was distracted.

The damn glass would _not. Get. Clean._ It was annoying and bothersome. He had tried hiring someone to do it, but the only person who applied was Rock Lee and he refused to go there. Lee was less likely to clean glasses and more likely to stand on the bar and preach to everyone.

The town of Konoha had one little church in it. The preacher - Might Guy - was a loud, proud man. It was nearly impossible to fall asleep during a sermon with him speaking. Rock Lee was his apprentice, who would no doubt take over as preacher when the time came. They certainly were a happy duo.

"There's an inn o'er yonder, should be the last buildin' on the right. You get a discounted stay if you sign in early. But that would mean you'd have to leave. Right. Now."

Naruto stood up and turned towards the sheriff.

"Nice meetin' ya, I suppose."

"You too, Uzumaki. So how long you plannin' on stayin', anyways?" asked Kiba, who put his hand out for Naruto to shake.

"Just a couple o' days," he replied, not noticing that Kiba had put out his hand in the first place.

"Shame. Well, maybe we can meet up again sometime, have a couple o' beers or somethin'."

Kiba put his hand down after giving up hope on ever recieving a handshake.

"Maybe."

Naruto left the saloon short afterwards. He wasn't really into the whole alcohol thing, so he doubted his beer meet with Kiba would ever really happen.

.

.

"Yahoo! I dun' won again! I swear, it's like ya'll 're goin' easy on me!" shouted the pink haired girl. Sasuke shook his head.

"I think you're just good at this," spoke Shino, wanting to get in a compliment for her before Sasuke did. Not that Sasuke ever actually expressed interest in her, or anyone else...

"Well of course I'm good at this, I didn't think y'all would've been so bad at it, though!" she replied, laughing. Shino pushed up his glasses and didn't say anything.

"Do you want another drink?" he eventually asked once she had stopped laughing.

"I think she's had plenty," Sasuke answered warily, looking down at the large amount of mugs that were sitting on the floor, as to not get in the way of the game.

"I think she can answer for herself," Shino replied, bitterly, shooting a glare his way, not that he could actually tell.

"Boys, please," Sakura interrupted, grinning. "Sasuke's right, I've had enough f'r t'day." Shino crossed his arms. That was so not cool. "I should pro'lly be gettin' home pretty soon—either of y'all willing to walk me?" she asked, glancing between the two.

"Sure," they both said in unison. "_I'll_ do it," they both said. They eventually just settled for glaring at each other.

Sakura laughed again. "C'mon Sauce-y, it's more on y're way," she said, standing up. Shino could be pretty creepy when they were alone anyways.

The Uchiha stood up immediately, straightened out his black vest, and put his hat back on before walking over next to her. He appreciated the victory. If he could one-up Shino, it was a good day.

"C'mon!" she said again with a grin before grabbing his arm and pulling him out of the saloon.

.

.

The bell didn't seem to be working. Naruto had rung it _at least_ thirty-seven times and no one had come to the front desk yet.

He really needed a room. It took him five hours to get into town and that wasn't counting the breaks his horse had to take. He was getting pretty tired actually, even it was still pretty early in the day.

He rang the bell seven more times.

"I-I'm coming!" a small, feminine voice yelled from a back room. They sounded slightly angry. It occurred to him that she could have been saying that the whole time and he wouldn't have known because even when she was yelling, she was quiet.

A few seconds later, a girl appeared in front of the counter, looking like she had just wrestled a bear. Her hair was a mess and her light purple dress—which looked incredibly expensive—had lace trimmings falling off of it.

"S-Sorry," she stuttered. "There was s-some kind of _m-mouse_ back there..." Her eyes seemed to widen slightly as she realized that this man was a potential customer. "O-Oh! B-but we d-don't n-normally see th-that kinda thing here! We-We're a very clean establishment!"

Naruto nodded slowly. "Uh-huh, okay. Well, I just wanted a room for a couple nights."

"S-Sure, s-single bed?" She felt weird asking that. The guy in front of her was awkwardly attractive.

He grinned. "Yup!"

"Wh-What name sh-should I put it under?" she asked.

He rubbed his chin in thought. "Well, most people just call me the Lone Rider—I've said that a lot t'day, you'd be surprised—, but you could put it under Naruto Uzumaki if ya need to."

She nodded and scribbled down his name and wrote "Lone Rider" next to it. "Okay sir, y're room is number six," she said, handing him a key. Then she pointed to a hallway. "It'll be down that way on the left."

"Thank ya, Ma'am!" he said, smiling before taking his key. "How much is this gonna cost?"

"O-oh, um, it'll be s-seven-fifty."

He let out a wolf-whistle before pulling out a frog-shaped coin purse. "Well, I suppose that's cheaper than us'al..." he said.

After he paid her, he went to his room and promptly fell asleep.

The girl who had shown him his room stood in silence for a while. They rarely saw business around here. In fact, the only reason there even was an inn was because her father was rich and she was bored, so running an inn seemed fun.

This boy was the first customer in a long while.

.

.

"You know you don't have to hold onto my arm, right? You're pulling me."

"Aw, Sauce-y! Don't pretend like you don't like it!"

"Sakura, you're a terrible drinker. How much did you have?"

"That's..." she said, placing her hand on his vest as if her fingers were walking. "Private information."

She flicked his nose.

"Seriously. Too much to drink. We're at your house."

"Oh really? I didn't notice."

The two stood there, staring at each other awkwardly for a while.

"Well ain't ya gonna go inside?" asked Sasuke.

"You should know that it's a gentleman's job to walk the girl to the door!" she said, losing her accent a little.

He sighed and rolled his eyes before grabbing her wrist and pulling her up to the doorstep. Sakura just giggled and stumbled after him.

Once they were standing on the porch, she still made no move to go inside. "...Are ya goin' inside _now_?" he asked, raising his eyebrow. She gasped in mock shock and then moved her hand to cover her mouth and laughed.

"But Sasuke! You still gotta kiss me goodn'ght!" she said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Now Sasuke was confused and had no idea what he was supposed to do—and he _hated_ not knowing things. It bothered him and made him want to punch a wall in the face.

Instead of going for it—like any normal guy would do, even if they weren't dating or whatever, seriously, Sakura was hot, but whatever—, he just stood there and gave her a stupid look. A mouth-slightly-open-and-head-tilted-and-eyebrows-furrowed-in-confusion stupid look.

So, instead, Sakura got really close to him and he was _pretty sure_ she was going to kiss him. Until she started laughing, patted him on the head, and went inside—closing (and he heard the click of the lock too) as she did.

"...What just happened," he mumbled under his breath as he left the property and went home.

_**end-of-chapter notes:** __I've always sort of wondered what it would be like to write an author's note. I kinda feel like Hiromu Arakawa. But not really._


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N **_The whole time we were writing the first part of this chapter, I was eating ham. Written with KillerMay._

**Sasuke, West Virginia Ranger: Chapter 2**

Disclaimer:

_I do not own Naruto._

She stood in the kitchen, preparing breakfast for the guest. Today on the menu - cabbage, black beans, and ham.

She had always prided herself on her ways with country foods. She had been teaching herself how to cook since her dad had become rich and allowed her and Neji more money for themselves. It was her dream -secretly, of course, since no one really knew her love for food- to make a chili that would win the chili-making contest held at the fair every year. It was a few miles off, though, and driving by her lonesome to a town wasn't a safe idea, with all the bandits and such.

Her father had always insisted, "Why don'tcha just take Neji? He'll look after ya."

But then people would insist that they were a couple, and they most certainly WERE NOT. Dispite her father's wishes.

Her father came from a small town in the mountains south of Konoha, and he liked to keep things, well, "in the family". So they wouldn't lose their traits.

"GOOD MORNIN'-"

"AHH!"

The owner of the hotel fell to her knees from being startled. She looked up to see her guest - the tall, strangely handsome blonde man. What was his name...Naruto Uzumaki?

"Sorry, didn't mean to startle ya."

She sat on the floor looking up at him for a few seconds.

"N-no, you're fine. I was i-in a trance."

He looked at her with an odd grin.

"Do you have some kinda stutterin' problem, miss?"

She turned red. She was about to answer, when a loud whistle went off.

"THE TEA!" she yelled, running towards the teapot over the fireplace. Naruto looked at what was inside of the pot.

"Um, miss? Are bubbles supposed to be rising to the top of this?"

"I-It's boiling! Oh no!" she whimpered, running over towards the pot. She began to frantically stir the food in the pot, and accidentally dropped the teapot, spilling the _still very hot_ tea on the ground by her feet, which were currently bare. She quit stirring the pot and yelped, and ran towards where the tea wasn't spilled.

Naruto stood in front of the pot, and began to copy what he had seen the woman do. He stirred the cabbage around, unsure of what this honestly did for it.

He noticed the pot beside it, which was full of beans, was starting to bubble as well. So, he took the spoon that had been laying beside that one, and stirred it as well. The tea on the ground didn't bother him, because he was wearing his boots.

The girl walked back into the room with some cloth and placed it over the spilled drink. She noticed the man was making the food she had previously working on. This partly relieved her, and partly bothered her, because now it seemed like she was a bad cook.

"Um, s-sir? I-If you can keep doing that for a few minutes, I'll get the t-tea started back up..."

"Sure. No problem."

She walked to the other side of the kitchen, and grabbed a bag of what honestly looked like dirt. She placed it on the counter beside the fireplace and poured some water from the faucet into the teapot. Naruto watched her do this, as well.

Once the water was over the fireplace, she approached him again. "I c-can take it from here. The ham's already prepared, if you wanna get yourself a p-plate..."

He grinned and thanked her, and searched around for a plate. He found the ham sitting on a large plate in the middle of a table. The table was inside the kitchen, but secluded from where all the work was done.

He sat down and sliced some ham for himself, and watched the woman pour the very hot water into a cup. Then, she took the dirty looking substance and placed it a bag with holes in it. She put the bag in the water.

Naruto wondered if tea was really made with dirt, and how unhealthy it had to be.

He may not have been from around Konoha, but he was pretty sure_ no_ tea was supposed to be made with dirt... Then again, his mother always told him he wasn't the brightest, so he ignored himself.

"So...," he said awkwardly into the silence, poking at the ham. He was also pretty sure it would rude to start eating without anyone else. His dad had taught him that and he was the smart one of the family. "It's Hinata, right?"

"Y-Yes," she replied, barely loud enough for him to hear.

He nodded before realizing her back was turned to him and she could see him. "That's a nice name, I ain't ever met a Hinata."

"R-really? It's a pr-pretty common name..." she replied, knowing for a fact that there were at least three other Hinata's just in Konoha.

"Huh... Then maybe I don't know many people...," he said, scratching his chin in thought. Hinata gave him a small smile and she brought the sides over to the table and waited for the tea to be finished. She began making her own plate and by the time she was done, the tea was all made.

She ran over and grabbed the two cups. When she brought them back over, she sat down in the seat to his right, bowed her head, and said a prayer in her mind before beginning to eat.

Naruto didn't say a prayer because he figured it would be really awkward if after she had just finished hers, he immediately copied her.

"So...," he began again, trying to make conversation. He kind of hated silence. "How's life?"

"F-Fine," she replied before taking a bite of ham.

"That's good," he replied before eating his own food. They ate the rest of he meal in a mildly uncomfortable silence.

.

.

Sasuke woke up to someone throwing rocks at his window and screaming, "Hey 'Chiha!". He immediately recognized the voice as Sakura. Then again, even if he didn't, he still would've assumed it was her.

He sighed dramatically—even though no one was around to hear it—and stood up. The first thing he saw was his reflection in the vanity mirror that he had inherited from his mother.

He looked pretty awful and, even though Sasuke wasn't _inherently_ egotistical, he had to admit that that was a rather difficult task.

On his way home the night before, he had encountered Anko Mitarashi—a mildly insane professor that wanted him to marry her niece. She chased him around the entire town and didn't give up until he finally lost her by running into the bathroom at the saloon and escaping out the window.

He had been so tired by the time he got home that he stripped off his vest, shirt, and gun holster and collapsed on the bed before he could even get off his pants and put on his pajamas. Now, he had dark circles under his eyes and he figured he must of slept in some weird way because his hair was all over the place.

Sakura was still tossing rocks at the window and he debated whether or not he should go over there and let her see him while he looked awful. He decided that would be a bad idea because Sakura—despite drinking like a man four times her size—remember everything and she would bring it up every chance she got.

He began rapidly finger-combing through his hair (because his brush was all the way in the bathroom) while also walking over to the closet.

"'CHIHAAA!" Sakura called loudly. "I know you're awake!"

As he buttoned up his shirt, he walked over to the window and opened it up. A rock hit his chest as he did so. Sakura could be heard laughing.

He stared down at the offending object that was now on his floor, debating whether or not he should throw it back at her.

Instead he just looked down at her with a blank expression and asked, "What do you want?"

She smiled widely. "You're takin' me t' the fair and you're gonna buy me everything I want!" she exclaimed. He would have gone against her and said otherwise, but last time he did that, he nearly lost an eye. He didn't like to talk about it.

It was going to be a long day.

"Sakura, that fair's in a week. Why the hell do I need to know this _right now_?"

She stared blankely at him, and he slightly regretted asking it.

"CUZ, that fair is several counties over! I wanna get there as soon as poss'ble! I don't wanna be the girl who looks like she was in a rush t' get t' the fair!"

"Does it really matter how you look? You're just gonna get sweaty anyways..."

Another rock hit his chest, this time closer to his neck. He tried not to look frightened.

"If I do start lookin' bad, you'll buy me some beauty supplies!"

She smiled at him.

He just sighed. "Fine. At least let me get ready."

.

.

Panting, Ino finished her dance. She trudged off the stage and asked Neji for a glass of water. He nonchalantly poured her some.

Gulping it down, she looked the bartender in the eyes. They'd been friends for some time now, she thought. Not _c__lose_ friends, but friends. And she'd never seen Neji with a woman. Ever.

"Thanks for the water, hun'."

"Mm."

Why did people always reply like that?

"Well, I was wonderin'..."

"Oh God."

"No, listen! I'm not askin' you for a favor this time."

(Usually, when she began a sentence with "I was wonderin'..." it ended with a favor. "I was wonderin'...would you mind cleanin' up the backstage area? I've got a date tonight." "I was wonderin'...would you fix the hem on my dress?" That kind of thing.)

"What?"

"Well, you're attractive now. When we were kids, it was different, but now you're cute."

"Okay?" he replied. He didn't like where this was going, already.

"Well-"

"Stop beginning your sentences with 'Well'."

"Okay, fine. How come you ain't ever got a woman with you?"

"Too troublesome."

She narrowed her eyes. Partly from annoyance, partly from trying not to grin. He replied without even a small amount of time between her question and his answer. That means that he knew what he was going to say. And if he knew what he was going to say, that meant that he had been thinking about it himself.

"Well, I'm sure there are some women around here that ain't too hard to handle."

"This conversation's over."

She sighed and watched the men play cards in the bar, and wondered if Sakura was going to show up today to clear them out.

"So, I was wonderin'...would you take me to the fair?"

.

.

Hinata really was a good cook. Naruto cleared his plate in a rather quick amount of time.

"Wow, you have yourself a real talent, miss Hinata," he complimented.

The girl blushed and looked around at everything but him in a rather awkward manner. "Ah! Uh... Th-Thank you, Sir," she said, bowing her head a bit. No one ever really complimented her.

Well, actually, her dad did once because she picked seeds out of a piece of cotton when she was four—he said it was proof that, once she married Neji (which still made her cringe), she would be able to take over the plantation and carry on the Hyuga name.

They did, after all, have "the best cotton plantation on this h're side o' the West Virginia's!" They had held that title for about five years now, ever since the Uchiha's went... uh... out of the picture.

Naruto didn't say anything in reply to her, just stood up to clean off his plate and whatnot.

"Y-You don't have'ta do that," she said, quietly, standing up and taking the plate from him. He was a guest and guests did not do dishes.

Naruto raised an eyebrow. "Well, I feel like I have'ta make it up to ya somehow...," he said, scratching his chin in thought. "Ain't there some fair or something 'round these parts?"

"W-Well yes, b-but—"

"Good then! I guess we're goin' to a fair!" the blond exclaimed, grinning widely.

Hinata didn't even like fairs all that much.

.

.

Meanwhile, at the police station, Kiba was dying on the inside. So many people from Konoha went to the Amegakure Fair that they always made some of the Konoha police force keep order. This year, with a group called "Akatsuki" running around, they decided that the sheriff himself should come down.

He tried to argue—because what if they attacked Konoha in his absence?—but they wouldn't go for it.

So, now he got to go around some fair, looking for petty thieves, and not getting to enjoy said fair _at all_. In his book, that did not at all count as a win.

It didn't help that the "Akatsuki" was a group that had no leads whatsoever on it. The only known member at the moment was the older brother of Sasuke Uchiha. And even then, since he had left, no one had heard from him or seen a trace of him.

"Damn..." he said, slapping his hand on the table. He looked over at his pistol, which had rarely been used, and wondered if he would ever actually use it on the Akatsuki. The police force just wasn't the same as it had been previously. They rarely ever caught criminals anymore. They couldn't even get Shino in, because he hadn't "actually killed anyone".

He took his hat off and looked around at the empty station. The other officers had all left, leaving just him and his dog, who was currently gnawing on a bone.

"Hey, Akamaru...you wanna come with me to the fair?" he said, as if the dog were going to speak back.

Akamaru raised his head.

"Ada boy," he replied, standing up and putting the pistol back in his holster. "We'll take a wagon or somethin' I guess. But we oughta head out."

"Woof."

Kiba smiled and headed out the doors.

.

.

"U-um...N-Naruto, sir?"

"What is it?"

"Is it alright if we don't leave until..." she said, pausing to make sure he was listening. "Until t-tomorrow? So I can make some food?"

He tilted his head.

"I mean, I've always sort of wanted to enter a c-competition..."

"That's fine by me. If you don't mind my stayin' here another night?"

"N-no! I don't mind...I don't mind at all..."

"Alrighty then. Need any help?"

She smiled. "N-no. I want to win this on my own."

.

.

Neji wasn't sure how he'd ended up saying yes to Ino's plea. But he did, and here he was. In the back of a wagon, nothing to do but watch her fan herself. She looked at him and smiled.

"Why don'tcha just go to sleep? It's gonna be a long ride."

"I'm not tired."

"Just sayin'. It's about nightfall."

"I know."

She stared at him, slightly annoyed with the fact that he gave such short replies.

"Boys..."

.

.

Hinata had fallen asleep a little before midnight. She didn't want to be worn out on the ride there.

Naruto had gone to bed, but he was having problems sleeping.

He went into the kitchen and looked around for a glass. He seemed to recall Hinata pulling the glasses out from the cabinet beside the fireplace. He opened it, only to find that the only clean ones were on the top shelf.

"That woman...how on earth did she even get those up there?" he asked himself, as he reached for them. He stood up on his toes, and fully streched. He still couldn't reach them. He looked around for a stool, but didn't find anything. It was too dark. He decided to jump for it. Which was a dumb idea.

As he landed, after grabbing the glass, he felt something knock over. He felt around and grabbed what felt like a can, and put it back the way it was.

He grabbed himself a glass of water, and went back to bed.

He was quite unaware that he had just spilled large amounts of _super-spicey_ chili powder into what Hinata was going to be entering into the chili making contest...

_**end-of-chapter notes:**__I'm sort of a food fanatic. I tried to keep my love for food on the down-low on this chapter and particular story. But when I get some other things posted, you'll probably read me describing food as if it were the most sexy thing in the world. And really, if you can cook, you are sexy in my book. Expecially if you happen to be good with German/French/Italian. Nomnomnom. _


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